A rock and a hard place.

Work is one of those things that are a necessary beast. Something I despise. I mean, if I could make enough money writing all the time, I would. In a heart beat. I know that would be hard too, but it would be self-fulfilling. If I could get this business plan written for a Pagan store and run that, which would be a lot of hours, but again, it would be worth it. The truth is, I am a waitress. Although serving tables is an honorable job, after all someone has to do it, it really doesn't pay my bills. If I worked all nights and all weekends, I am sure I could make it, but I am a mother. I refuse to lose every ounce of time with my children. That is not a childhood. That is what my mother had to do, and although I grew up to be a decent member of society, I do not want my kids growing up the same way.

It's not like I am a high school drop out, or didn't go on in my education. I completed a Medical Assisting degree, which in Kansas, as I have found, really isn't worth much. I have over 13 years in customer service, but I make more money serving tables, with less hours. I have been a damn good phlebotomist (one of those vampires that takes your blood to run tests on it.) but in Topeka those jobs come rarely and are mainly part time with just as much pay as I am receiving now.

Now, I work in a mexican restaurant called On the Border. Nice place. For the most part, I work with nice people. I like my boss and my direct bosses for the most part are pretty decent. I get along with most everyone I work with, which is why I don't want to find a different job most of the time. They depend on me because they know I am a hard worker and treat every person with respect. They in return put up with my craziness and my random rantings. They have watched my daughter grow up in the past year, know about the hardships our family has faced, been there when I cried about my son, and helped me when I desperately needed money.

The truth is though, I may have to look for another job. I may have to work 40 hours a week and maybe only get a little more than I am currently. It's either that or I have to buckle down on the writing and getting people to subscribe and work on getting the pagan shop open. It just kills me though because in order to get ahead, I will have to sacrifice even more time than I already do with my children.

What's a grown person to do?